Ilfracombe; my home town. How lucky I am.

I’m in Devon for a wedding.  Coincidentally, I grew up in the area, and my Mother lives here, so I’m combining the wedding trip with a family visit.  Being my biggest fan, she asked me to bring her a recent recording- as is the natural order of things.

As I’ve mentioned here and there, I’m in the process of recording some songs for a proper record, which I’ve not yet finished, so I decided it better to just do a quick live set rather than cannibalise the incomplete recordings.  The idea was that these would just be a snapshot for the family, but on reflection, I’ve decided that I should persist in my new output heavy approach, and release them.

Up the proverbial

Though I don’t want to descend to pre-emptive criticism avoiding excuses, I want to at least mention that these are simple one-off live takes, all recorded into just one microphone.

There is a natural tendency toward restricting output to the best possible content, but I’ve been so immobilised by my perfectionism that the potential downside of people being put off by stuff not being up to standard is more than offset by the positive momentum of actually putting something out.  I’m aiming to swamp the rough stuff with successively better music.  This is helping me actually do the thing I love, which is the point, after all.  Mindset dictates direction…

Before, I was constantly imagining the negative reaction a less than perfect release might receive, but despite all the self-help articles I’ve ploughed through (some very helpful, others less so), I was amazed by one unexpected result:  upon releasing something, I not only felt incredibly elated, but my fear of criticism just dropped away.  Needless to say, I’m interested in people’s responses, but my previous fears simply evaporated the moment I hit publish.  Something to bear in mind if you’re battling your own internal critic, whatever it is you’re trying to create.

Another aspect to all this, interesting not only to me, is the changing nature of music releasing.  I think there’s a  well deserved place for a full length LP style release, but as the Lefsetz link describes:

“nothing’s stopping you from releasing said music at the rate of two tracks a month”

I feel as if I’m developing into a new mode with my music, not least with how I’m sharing it.  It could be that something similar to what’s described above will be more natural and fun for me than trying to mirror a traditional label approach.   I’ve certainly been enjoying playing with video creation.  I don’t know.  I am open to experiment, and welcome your input.  I’ll certainly do the album, as it’s a major mental landmark for me, but I may simply move to a more continuous model.  Watch this space.

In the mean time, though, please do listen to the songs.  I’m not asking for money here, but if you enjoy them, I’d humbly ask that you share them with other people you think might, too.  As always, I’d love your thoughts on it all.

Will

x

I’m currently having embed issues, so here’s a link to a streaming/download page.  Thanks for being involved.

“I swear here and now never again to take out my bitterness, no matter how justifiable, on a group of people, whatever their race, religion, convictions, prejudices, errors. I feel sorry for these poor children. But I cannot forgive certain individuals, those who reject me, those who coldly abandon us, those who are prepared to stab you in the back.
Those people… if I could just get my hands on them… When will it all end? The troops that were here last summer said “Christmas”, then July. Now end ’41.”

From Némirovsky’s notes for “Suite Française”, June 28th, 1941.

Irène

Irène Némirovsky was a Kiev-born, French Jewish writer who died in Auschwitz in 1942.  Just as Anne Frank gives a human face to the incomprehensible statistics about the loss of life, Némirovsky’s book “Suite Française” is, in the words of Anita Brookner writing in The Spectator:

“An heroic attempt to write a novel about a nightmare in which the author is entirely embedded”

Némirovsky’s work is extraordinary not just for its literary quality, but also, as her wikipedia article explains:

“Némirovsky’s older daughter, Denise, kept the notebook containing the manuscript for Suite Française for fifty years without reading it, thinking it was a journal or diary of her mother’s, which would be too painful to read. In the late 1990s, however, she made arrangements to donate her mother’s papers to a French archive and decided to examine the notebook first. Upon discovering what it contained, she instead had it published in France, where it became a bestseller in 2004. It has since been translated into 38 languages and as of 2008 has sold 2.5 million copies.”

Me with my copy. Note le Monde's description.

I read Suite Française in 2009, was profoundly moved by it, and by the notes in the appendix I quote at the top of this post.  There are even heartbreaking letters between her increasingly desperate husband and various officials, searching for his missing wife and unaware that his efforts are too late, and in vain.

This wonderful book, and the astonishing details of its publication really affected me, and  within a week of finishing the text, I’d written three piano songs that are about(respectively) her departure from Paris, her separation from her children, and a song written to her, from my 21st century perspective.

What with my lizard-brain hang-ups, and inexcusable procrastination, I’ve never properly recorded or released  these songs.  This evening, I was playing piano and I fell into one of them (the first), unconsciously.  (This happens in weird ways when you’ve been playing for years- things suddenly pop back up.)

So I decided I’d record it, and get it out there.  It’s basic: it’s the first take,  I just used my video camera’s on-board mic,  there’s no fancy editing.  But I’m happy, because as I mentioned before, I’m trying to address the input/output imbalance.  I hope you enjoy it.  Maybe I’ll release all three together as a little E.P.

Lyrics

One last time on the Métropolitain.

I travel alone, but think of my friends.

This city has changed:

Only fascists, and the foolish remain.

I’ll leave it all behind

in my bitter suite française.

Finally - here’s a nice piece from the BBC’s from our own correspondent series.

N.B.  My poor French meant I made a stupid error in the embedded song title- “Francais” means frenchman, which wasn’t the desired meaning!

I really need a haircut.  And a good wash, apparently.  I know how to draw you in… Anyway.
Songwriting popular topics 1, 2, 3:
1, I love you
2, I hate you
and today’s example, 3, Personal empowerment:

Lyrics
Everything can change
in a blinding epiphany
There are hinge points in life
And one’s just bent in me

I don’t know how I’ve left it so long
So many stupid things I’ve carried on
Maybe everything is composition
My life’s starting a new song

I’m gonna transform myself today
If I can pay for my sins, I want to pay
I’ve been flotsam and jetsom on life’s waves
But it’s not just the tide that can change

Beautiful artefacts remain
I love a good back story
Where does my novel come to life?
Awaken the protagonist in me

Time shifts you to where you belong
Your mindset dictates direction
My spiralling intuition
Has never felt so strong

I’m gonna transform myself today
If I can pupate then I must pupate
The notes can only dance off the page
Fantasy precedes strategy and change

Thoughts, comments, knickers, as ever x

I began tracking songs for a record today.  I ended up down a “constructive procrastination” rabbit hole, and made this video:

Though I’m pleased to have added a little something to the “output” column, I’m frustrated with myself for not persevering with the tracking longer than I did.  Must do better.

Oh- I messed around with the video effects as the live-take recording wasn’t properly focused.  The whole video is a rush job, but I’m working to the principle of ready! fire! aim!  I’m also hoping to prioritise the actual recording, so intentionally avoided over-complicating this.  I think it looks ok (ignoring my terrible dancing), given the speed with which it came together .

As I mentioned above, I’m increasingly aware of the input/output balance.   I think it’s natural, healthy even, to have an interest in the world, but speaking for myself at least, this has long since spilled over into illusory learning at the expense of actually achieving anything.  As Seth Godin characterised it, you used to read the half-dozen books on your subject in the library, then get to work.  The internet has changed all that…

So I’m now consciously monitoring my input to output ratio each day.  Obviously (you’ll no doubt be pleased to learn) not all of this need be for public consumption diarising would, for example, count as output, but certainly needn’t be shared.

One optimistic perspective on all this is that the time spent absorbing was not only necessary, but will positively influence the output to come.  We can only guess, of course.

Thoughts and comments are welcome, as ever. x

Some of my most treasured artists seem  to be missing a basic fact: namely; we shape and create our realities.

“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.”

If I had the hormones to emulate this look, I would.

“Man can alter his life by altering his thinking. “

These are both quotes from William James

Whatever you may think of him, he was clearly onto something.

William James was tapping into the subjective, fluid, plural nature of our realities.  He made outrageous claims about our psychological future because it seemed obvious to him that we could leverage the self knowledge outlined above to create an incredible heaven on earth.

I don’t want any of you (two) readers to interpret this as an excuse for moral relativism, or similar bullshit; there are clearly things which we must collectively agree not to do.  This is a minor sideshow; relative to the technicolour pageant that James’s insight allows.

Just as you see shoes everywhere when you have a new pair, your brain will find things to complain about (if that’s what you’re training it to look for).

Thisismyjam is a new music sharing site, in which you pick a single tune, per week or so, and those interested in your tastes are able to listen to your choices.  It’s an elective service, like twitter, so you’re free to cease following any user at any point.  I’d argue it’s a potentially wonderful thing, and perhaps you’d agree- provided you follow the right people.

I saw a hugely intelligent (and talented) music professional facebook “friend” go to the trouble of updating his facebook status to explain that he was listing the bands he would consider so aesthetically offensive as to automatically “unfollow” those who posted them.

A personal hero, and proponent of E prime

The system is designed, obviously, to allow one to easily eliminate those whose interests aren’t compatible.  Though I like the idea of the service and encourage you to “follow” me (via the above link), what prompted me to write this was the attitude of  the musician who posted with such disdain.

I understand and have no problem with disagreement over art, of whatever form.  The hangups of these people are literally absurd.  I suggest idiots unable to get past this 13 year old stage one-upmanship research eprime.

I’m genuinely sad about this.  The very real (but for this post anonymous) figure who went to the trouble of telling us all he was listing potential aesthetic disappointments that his friends might become… What is he setting himself up for?  Clearly, there is nothing but potential disappointment in this path… What’s particularly odd is that he, of his own volition, will take time to list ways in which he may be, in some hypothetical future, let down.

There are fairly easy points to be made here about musical elitism, but my example is just that; an example.  Why is he choosing to set himself up for disappointment?

An immediately clear suggestion is that judging those that have a “lesser” musical taste makes him feel good, but what level of harrowing internal void must there be to make this a buzz one would seek out?

Anyway; I’m not writing this to criticise him.  I’m not trying to be clever.  I’m trying to have a good time.  And you know what?  The truth is that your mindset/reality tunnel dictates how much of a good time you can have, and I get off on the idea that I might help even one person to improve that by mocking the patent stupidity of wasting your life by listing the things that might, one day, upset you.

Imagine if, instead, he’d made a list of wonderful artists which would make him discard his previously held prejudices, and reappraise the curator concerned.  He’d have made a list of lovely surprises, just waiting to happen.

That really cool thing?  FOCUS ON THAT!

X

It still amazes me how many people haven’t heard of TED.  It’s really such a fantastic resource…

Pioneering leaders in various fields giving a layman’s terms summary of the best goings-on in their field; all in under twenty minutes, all available for free.

I saw two short talks today that really moved me, and I feel should be seen by as many people as possible, so I’m embedding them here.  They offer contrasting perspectives on essentially the same point, and therefore provide a degree of balance to one another.  I’ve listed them in the order I saw them, but they aren’t conceived as belonging together.  Please take just three minutes to watch the beginning of the first, to see if it catches your attention.

Thankyou.

http://www.ted.com/

(This is reference post for musicians and performers in Brighton.)

I keep getting asked about open mic nights in Brighton, and given that the only online list I could find was several years out of date, I thought I’d collect what I know here.   If you can add to or correct anything, I’d appreciate you getting in touch, as this is a list I plan to maintain.

Although I may add some details (e.g. name of organiser, any quirks…), open mics are very subjective, so I don’t see the value of highlighting favourites (or criticisms).  That said, I may flag anywhere with unusually terrible sound.  That’s all part of the fun, though, right?

I stress that this is just a beginning- it’s by no means comprehensive.  I’ll update inline, so you’ll be able to see how recently it’s been modified.  I’m not including directions or anything.  They’re all on google maps.

Continue reading →

Paul Murray is one of my closest friends. Today we went to the beach, amazed at the weather for a February day.

Flies undone

So after an initial aborted attempt to record a song together, we just played; for about 3 hours.

Just as it was getting cold (February, after all), I suggested recording one of his songs. I’m so pleased I did. As I’m sure will be obvious, I’m no professional camera man, but the chance combination of his beautiful song and the surprise of the starlings created something I love. It won’t seem true, maybe, but this was utterly unplanned, and I suppose that is part of what makes it so special for me.  The other side of this same point is that you’ll need to be patient with the stupidity at the beginning.  Please do, and ignore the Wadsworth Constant for once…

Paul’s a great songwriter, and I hope to have some recordings and videos of the stuff we’ve been working on together up on here before too long, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this, and encourage you to subscribe to his youtube channel.

I first met Greg Holden four years ago. But I get ahead of myself.  First things first, watch this video from the subject of this article:

I was late to an open mic night in Brighton, and was (unusually) taxi-ing it across town, rather than walking.  I was with a friend more lazy than poor.  I clearly remember being in the nearside lane, stuck at lights, and seeing a beat-up white van to our right.  This was of immediate interest to my taxi-sharing friend as she was (is) a lesbian, and there was a delicate, poster-pretty girl in the passenger seat.

“What’s she doing with that scruffy herbet?”

she said.  Or something very similar.  I forget.

Anyway, I remember agreeing that yes, said fellow had done really rather well for himself, and wasn’t it a shame that there was no justice in the world?

There is an unusual, pleasantly sleaze-free sensation to admiring pretty girls when in cohort with lesbians.

Anyway, Greg.

As you’ve almost certainly guessed, by chance, they were driving to the same open mic night, and my sapphic friend and I quickly saw Greg Holden‘s appeal.  Perhaps the van just didn’t suit him.  I hope it goes without saying that he turned out to be charming as well as talented, and once out of the van, looked perfectly handsome (and his friend was lovely, too).

Today, February 28th  is his birthday, and I thought I’d write something about him.

Cake. For a 28 year old. He's not 28. What do you want, blood?

The trouble is, although I am hugely pleased about his subsequent success, I can’t help viewing it through a self-critical lens.  This naturally leads to mixed feelings.  That’s a matter for another post, mostly concerning me being an idiot.  I bet you can’t wait.

So, given that I’m not going into that here, I’d just like to highlight that Greg is amazing, has worked really hard, and has tremendous self-belief.  I was stunned when I realised his recent album is one of my favourites of the year…

These attributes, along with his natural advantages, have resulted in tremendous success:

When Greg Holden wrote “The Lost Boy” in late December 2011, a song inspired after reading “What Is The What?”, a true story of a Sudanese Refugee by American writer Dave Eggers, he had no idea that two weeks later his home recorded demo would be a #1 Single in Holland. Nor did he know that it would raise over €32,000 for Red Cross during Radio 3FM’s annual charity campaign, Serious Request. You could argue that in a way, the song was able to aid its subject. He also didn’t think that on Christmas Eve he’d be playing that song on Dutch National TV in front of an 8,000 strong audience and millions of viewers at home.

(from his site)

The Lost Boy:

He’s touring Europe this spring and you should come:

 So, a tremendous musician, and a tremendous inspiration.  Happy birthday Greg.

This was taken during his Uk "not my living room" tour

Seriously, go to his site and download Hell and Back.

Happy birthday, buddy. X

Note- the song video’s at the bottom.

There’s no shortage of self-appointed experts on just about whatever subject on the internet (hi!), and I’m more guilty than most of searching through these in search of “the answer” (whatever that is).

Anyway, one recurring theme is the idea of perfection and how it pertains to creativity.  I’m not going to go on about it here- there’s no shortage of better material out there- but a good example is:

Salvador Dali

“Don’t worry about perfection, you’ll never reach it.” -

Salvador Dali

Incidentally, I thought it was Frank Zappa who said this, which just goes to show my quote recall is (appropriately) less than perfect.   My brain obviously categorises thinkers by their facial hair. (My error lead me to this page of Zappa quotes, which I recommend.)

So I’ve uploaded a video of a rough demo of a song I’m working on, mostly because the weather was nice.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the advice I’ve received from Brian Thompson (as described in my last post) and one recurring theme is to get stuff up and out there.  This is obviously true, but I’ve been questioning why musicians often don’t.  I don’t believe it’s simply a confidence issue, though this surely plays a part.  There are two aspects that I’d like to highlight briefly:

Imposter Syndrome

This is clearly tied to, or perhaps an aspect of, confidence.  The name give the gist, but Wikipedia has a good summary of the more formal thinking.  The studies I’ve read cite academics as their examples, which leads us to the problem as it pertains to “creatives”, if you’ll allow the convenient term.

Not Salvador Dali

There is no barrier to entry as a musician.  I wouldn’t have it any other way, but this has implications.  If I meet someone and they say they’re a doctor or a barrister or similar, there is an automatic understanding of what this means; they have passed specific tests.  A clear amount of work has been done, and they have been assessed and found able.

Obviously there is testing in music- but Paul McCartney can’t read music, and despite this preventing him from passing fairly rudimentary standard tests, he’d be judged as fairly capable by most… (et cetera, et cetera…)  This isn’t just about music either.  What if you daub paint?

Some musicians have spent truly staggering amounts of time practising.  Undoubtedly more time (to pick one variable) than many (at least newly qualified) doctors.   I’m not trying to make any personal point here, nor am I trying to malign the rightly high status of people who making others healthy for a living.

There is no definitive point of arrival for a musician, and this can leave a great many feeling like imposters.

I reckon playing here would help, though...

 Waiting for permission (vs. asking forgiveness)

There are a number of other names for this, but the central point is borderline glib; shit, it’s even a bumper sticker.   

It’s a real problem though.  I sincerely believe a large part of a rock star’s appeal is that they’ve self-actualised.  I don’t really have a lot to say about the problem, other than to highlight that it’s massive, and a largely invisible barrier to the life you want (*Vomits*- sorry).  Here’s an article with some good advice about it.

The bloody song, finally…

And so, we arrive at(or skipped to?) the video that prompted this post.  As I said above, if I’m honest, the main thing that got me to record this today was the weather.  This is just a snapshot of a song in progress.  It also has a harmonica part (get me!).  Anyway…. I hope you enjoy it, and would love for you to comment and subscribe to my youtube channel if you like what you hear.

Brian Thompson runs a great site that does a lot to help musicians around the world. He recently requested short video testimonials from his fans. This is mine:

Apparently, I’m not as much of a screaming extrovert as you might assume, as I felt really uncomfortable talking to a camera.  I’m sorry it’s such a close up, too.  Oh well…

The lesson in the fact that I’ve gone to the trouble to do this is that Brian walks the walk; he understands the new media landscape and how it works.  He’s tirelessly helped people, for free.  That has built a lot of good will, resulting in people working to help him now.  This strategy works.

I’ve also committed to hiring him before the end of this tax year, so I may as well make that public here… What should I get him to do?

Anyway… this is a little rushed as a post, but I thought I should get it out there…

Thanks for everything, Brian!  :)

Have you heard the phrase “attention economy”? I spend more time than is perhaps wise reading about the internet (on the internet, naturally), but this phrase is increasingly common; no longer the reserve for self-styled “social-media experts”.

The thinking is: (via wikipedia)

“Since the cost to transmit advertising to consumers is now sufficiently low that more ads can be transmitted to a consumer than the consumer can process, the consumer’s attention becomes the scarce resource to be allocated.”

This blog post isn’t about adverts, though, but more general messages. For example, a famous person saying something which is then reported on and commented on.

The old adage of  “all publicity is good publicity” shows that (some) celebrities and promoters are more concerned with exposure and recognition than they are with their reputation. Naturally, this is not something that only arrived with the advent of the internet.

“I won’t give them the oxygen of publicity” is a slightly hackneyed phrase, albeit with a kernel of wisdom. As our culture moves from a one size must fit all to a gloriously varied, yet siloed approach, should we be modifying our response methods to media stimuli?

I believe the era of mass culture is coming to an end, as Seth Godin argues so convincingly in We Are All Weird. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s pretty obvious it’s happening, too, if you take the time to think about it.

Seth Godin

I’m only thirty, but the fragmentation of culture since I was a ten year old is startling. We don’t all watch the same programs, at the same time. We don’t all go and see the same films, at the same time. Each of us has a music collection that’s spiralling further and further into a profusion of niches comparable to only the die-hard music enthusiasts of years gone by.

All of this can be ignored as merely a cultural phenomenon to think about if you have something to sell or promote, but as we’re no longer in a few to many communication network- rather a many to many network- we’re all a greater part of this than our established systems are trained for. Do we need to rethink our approach?

There’s a strong argument that the best way expose a fool is to give him space to talk. To air a weak argument gives others the opportunity to expose its flaws and cut away public support for it. A classic example of a reputable body taking this approach to a  controversial subject is the appearance of a British National Party leader and an alleged holocaust denier at an Oxford Union debate.  It’s hard to quantify the effect of such exposure.

What actually prompted me to begin writing this was watching my twitter stream’s response to Baroness Warsi’s article about “militant secularisation”. The actual details of what she said (and even my thoughts on it) are not the focus of this article. What I’m interested in here is the question “what is an appropriate response?”

The Baroness (Harkonnen)

If we accept that there’s a continuous stream of new information out there, of varying degrees of relevance to us, we have to have some sort of filter in place regarding how we react to it. To use Warsi’s article as example fodder, does my quite exhausting level of disagreement with her mean that I should:

1)Write a withering dissection of her poor reasoning, false assumptions and so on?
2)Retweet/blog/link via facebook/etc the most appropriate examples my online community provides?
3)Simply ignore what seems so clearly to be an absurd view from a source known for questionable views?

In contrast, what does it mean if I fail to mention/retweet/post/blog about it? Will those who follow my opinion believe I don’t hold a strong view? This can lead to absurd situations; one cannot comment on everything.

So how are we to choose? The corporate media have their agenda, and I don’t feel I should be led by them. Is there a certain level of interest from my peers that means I should weigh in, or is the reverse true? Perhaps they’re all making such a strong case that I don’t need to?

As an important aside, the web is (of course) still evolving, and one aspect of this that’s easily overlooked, but has huge ramifications, is the filter bubble, best explained in Eli Pariser’s 9 minute TED Talk which I encourage you to find time to see, if you haven’t already:

People take the trouble to point out in their Twitter bio’s that their Retweets do not indicate endorsement. (n.b.  A “retweet” repeats another twitter user’s comment to the re-tweeting party’s own followers.) I have a political journalist friend who retweets the most dreadful shit. But he does this to highlight what dreadful shit some politician is tweeting.  (Despite the great impression I’m giving of him here, he’s actually great and writes wonderfully.)

I’ve known him 15 years, but even just from his twitter feed over the last few years, it’s clear when he’s pointing out something rather than endorsing it.  This contextual insight can only be relied upon when you have built a relationship with your listeners/followers/readers/etc.  I can never know in this broadcast environment if this is the first you’ve heard of me.  Nevertheless, I have to trust that you’ll interpret accordingly.  This is why comedians telling jokes to a sympathetic crowd will get into trouble when  quoted out of context.

Frankie Boyle realising he's done it again

I suppose I’m finally groping towards my point here, which is that if you’ve built up a reputation for (say) being a champion of secularism, it’s not necessary to respond and thus draw attention to a religious advocate every time they try to suggest the role of religion in society is positive.   You can therefore deny them the oxygen of publicity they crave.

Exactly as I have done here.

********************************************************************************

Endnote: Seth Godin’s book, mentioned above, is amazing.  Read a good interview with the author here.